


Of Sadists and Ramen chefs

by ProjectEquipment



Category: Highschool DxD (Anime), Naruto
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Married Couple, Married Life, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:48:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProjectEquipment/pseuds/ProjectEquipment
Summary: Akeno went into that quaint little ramen stand to get some food as a pick-me-up. The owner was a cute blonde idiot. And the rest is history... How was she supposed to know that he was immortal? The ramen was delicious, though. AU, Humor, Romance. Reviews pls.
Relationships: Himejima Akeno/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- This is my first story, kindly cut me some slack.
> 
> Check out my other stories as well.
> 
> Reviews pls, thank you
> 
> DISCLAIMER- I OWN NOTHING AT ALL.
> 
> 'ITALICS'- THOUGHTS

Sadists and Ramen chefs

Akeno sighed as she finished filing the receipts for her department. It was the same thing she did everyday, but she was still bored. The monotony of her office job was getting to her, and it was SO BORING! She wanted to find a stray devil to torture, to revel in its shrieks of pain as it finally gave up hope and died, to help her relax and relieve some stress.

' _Perhaps my darling husband could give me a massage at home tonight~'_ She thought with a mild blush.

Decades have passed since the Khaos Brigade was defeated, but she didn't age due to her devil nature. After everything had simmered down in the supernatural world, she had gotten a job as a manager in the Tokyo branch of one of the many businesses the Gremory family had in Japan, called CrimsonRuinPrincess Inc, or CRP for short (Extremely unique name thought out by Rias).

Since she was Rias' [Queen], she obviously didn't need any interview process, and as she already did secretarial work for Rias, she fit right into her role at CRP. The company itself dabbled into many fields, and she oversaw the management of the various ventures on paper. She could have very well become the CEO of the Japan subsidiary, but she didn't want the hassle and the added responsibility. The job also paid very well, almost as much as some businessmen would make.

When she was released from her service to Riasand got married afterwards, she wanted to settle down and try her hand at a day job. She was excited to forge a new path for herself, and seize the day, and…

' _AAAAAAAAH, I can't do this stupid job anymore!'_

She hadn't thought that it would be so boring! Now she was trapped in her dead-end job and she couldn't quit because her idiot(read: lovable) husband convinced her by lecturing her about 'Taking responsibility' and 'Finishing what you started' and whatnot.

He didn't force her to keep working, but his arguments were so damn logical that she was actually convinced! It wasn't fair that he had fun running his cute little ramen stand while she was stuck in this dump!

Oh, how badly she wanted to _punish_ him now...

Even the storage room for filing papers looked like the personification of 'plain'. Cream colored walls, aluminum cabinets stacked on top of each other, and a plastic desk with a wheelie chair. The ceilings had cracks in it, there was the signature water cooler in a corner, and for a second she thought she saw a rat sleeping in the corner. Even the mold looked like it was stressed from meeting a deadline.

' _Even the rats are bored...sigh'_

And she couldn't just go on electrocuting her coworkers for kicks, however much she might despise them; seriously, how could grown men and women act like lost puppies in her very presence? Didn't they understand that she was a married woman?

Hell, half of them were married _themselves_ , for God's(OUCH) sake!

She always turned them down, but they just kept coming back like flies!

At least she was done for the day, now she could go home and relax.

She had just exited the storage room, and was packing up to head home for the day. She smiled at the interns, who promptly started swooning and blushing madly. She couldn't blame them, she reminded herself. Many men and women alike found her incredibly alluring, dressed in a black blazer, white shirt, black pencil skirt, thigh length stockings and black heels. Her long midnight black hair was tied in a ponytail with her signature orange ribbon, but now it had a spiral pattern embroidered in the material.

It also didn't help that she teased all her coworkers at every possible opportunity. Hey, just because she was married didn't mean her personality should change! In fact her husband didn't mind at all(because he is a total sweetheart like that), and told her to just be herself.

"AKENO-SAMA MARRY ME!"

"UWAA, IT'S AKENO-SAMA!"

"SHE'S SO PRETTY!"

Such comments of worship were commonplace for her ever since her school days.

' _Imbeciles, the lot of them. As if I would go for any of these wimps! One teensy shock and they'd all be frothing at the mouth!'_ was her general reaction to such people. She WAS married after all! But even if she weren't, she wouldn't give these people the time of day. Wherever she went, be it Kuoh, her University or her job, these hopeless cronies always showed up.

' _I can't wait to get home and eat whatever delicious food he's made for mee~'_ She thought, licking her lips in anticipation. Just the thought of her husband's homemade cooking made her mouth water. Almost done, just five more minutes and she could teleport home to eat his scrumptious warm food, she thought. Why walk when you could literally bend space and travel in an instant? She never had any commuting problems due to her ability.

She was broken out of her musing when her 'colleague', a man named Yamada approached her. He was a moderately attractive man, she thought, and were she single, she might have led him on to relish his sad look when she brutally shot him down.

' _Oooh, that's a marvelous ideaa~, but I'm not even going to pretend to cheat on him'_

This one was thankfully single himself, or she would pity his partner. That would be just like someone she knew very well. Even as he spoke, he was busy staring at her.

Yamada was wearing what was quite possibly the only outfit that would make her day even _more_ boring- A cream coloured shirt, checkered tie, corduroy trousers and a _suede_ jacket! His brown hair was slicked back, and she could see the first hints of baldness.

This WAS a stressful job after all.(For humans at least)

' _Oh Maou, who is this sitcom professor character you have dropped in front of me?'_ She was honestly taken aback by the sheer 'plain' of his outfit.

"Ano… Akeno-san?" Yamada began, blushing and fidgeting slightly. "Would you like to go out for drinks with me and some of the guys after the shift is over?" he asked, the sheer hope in his eyes making her inwardly smirk in amusement. His 'guys' were random extras like himself, looking at her like puppies would their master. "We really wanted to get to know our beautiful manager who does so much for us everyday!"

Akeno mentally rolled her eyes at the pathetic attempt at asking her out. Smiling beatifically, she replied, "Ara ara Yamada-san, I do hope you aren't hitting on a married woman, my my, what would my husband think if he saw you?" Of course her husband would not do anything harsh, except maybe put some itching powder in that suede monstrosity.

Looking sheepish at being caught, Yamada tried to save his plummeting reputation by saying- "Ahahaha… Let me be honest Akeno-san, most of the guys think that you are out of that guy's league. None of us have even seen him! I mean, what could a ramen stand owner possibly give you? He doesn't deserve you, Akeno-san."

Throughout the idiot's diatribe, Akeno's eyes grew progressively colder, and her smile became more forced. The temperature in the room started steadily dropping, and Yamada and his mooks could feel some kind of unseen pressure weighing down on their shoulders.

Then the most surprising thing happened, Akeno started to giggle. But this giggle was not her usual demure giggle which sent her fans into a haze, this sound was more like the cackling of the Shinigami!(According to Yamada, at least) While Yamada and company were struggling to remain focused, Akeno, however, was lost in her own thoughts…

**AKENO'S MIND**

" _AAAAAAAAAH, Akeno-sama, please stop, IT HURTS!" Yamada shouted as he was electrocuted for the umpteenth time. His friends were already passed out in a corner courtesy of a nasty shock, but this peasant who dared insult her beloved would suffer for a long time._

_She stopped the steady stream of electricity, and Yamada slumped to the ground, nearly dead. He looked like he had seen much better days, and had so many bruises it looked like a big plum._

" _You know," she began, "Normally, I would have turned you down and we would've gone our separate ways. But then you made a really bad mistake~" she said, giggling sadistically, as his eyes widened._

" _I'M SO SORRY AKENO-SAMA, I WON'T BOTHER YOU AGAIN, PLEASE SPARE MEEE", he wailed hopelessly, like the worm he was._

_She giggled again, she was really enjoying this! She was blushing madly, and taking deep panting breaths. 'Ohh how i missed this~' she thought._

" _Ara ara, Yamada-san, your mistake wasn't asking me out, you know…" She began silkily while lightning crackled at her fingertips. "Oh no no, your mistake was when you spoke about my husband without knowing him." At this point her beautiful face was curled up in a vicious snarl as she shocked him yet another time. She was PISSED now._

" _As if a worm like you could even compare to him, you piece of filth! You are but an ant in his presence." she spat. "You know nothing of the wonderful man he is, of what he's done for me, and you DARE slander his name!" she all but shouted, as the poor man recoiled in fear._

_He shrieked again as she shocked him once more. She was having sooo much fun~_

**REAL WORLD**

Akeno was giggling madly while blushing up a storm. ' _Am I a yandere now?'_ She idly mused.

While this was going on, poor Yamada thought that this was a reaction she had to HIS offer. Emboldened by the response he received, he pressed on.

"So, about what I asked..." he ventured. The game plan was that he would escort Akeno to a local restaurant to meet the guys, but 'the guys' would mysteriously call and cancel, all of them would. Then it would be just him and Akeno-san, and he could finally win her heart and convince her to leave that low-class fool of a ramen chef she called her husband.

'Oh, it's all going nicely.' he thought. How little he knew.

Meanwhile, his words had snapped akeno out of her trance. She turned her focus on the snivelling dolt in front of her. Her frigid gaze made him feel like his soul was being torn apart. Slowly, while restraining her rage, the black haired beauty asked, "Would you care to repeat that, Ya-ma-da-san?" She absolutely _hissed_ through gritted teeth.

"Uhm… H-Hai! I was asking-"

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline, and please refrain from hitting on married women again, especially me, okay?" She interrupted him with a positively saccharine smile. "And Yamada-san, please don't say such things about my husband, he might not react kindly to you hitting on his wife and insulting him behind his back" Her smile grew larger, if it was possible.

' _Him not reacting kindly would be an understatement,'_ she thought. The last time such a thing happened was Fallen angel hit on her when he was nearby. The fallen was using the cliche "Ditch this loser and have fun with me" bit. He would not take no for an answer and kept bugging her. When she still refused, the crow tried to grab her hand. While she could have easily dealt with that crow herself, she didn't have to, as her husband took him into an alley and broke his wings as well as every bone in the idiot's body.

When she came back to the real world, she found that Yamada had already scampered off. She didn't expect much from him anyway.

Pushing unnecessary thoughts out of her mind, she went into her office, and locked her door. Her office was much better than the store room, as she used magic to make it bigger from the inside, like a bastardized version of a Rating Game dimension. The office was lined with purple wallpaper. It had black leather couches, a mahogany desk for her and a Victorian style chair. Her office was a beautiful and relaxing place, where she could get away from the boredom of the day.

On the desk were many things which were important to her; There was her old orange ribbon, a photo of her Circle, and various stationery.

The most prominent article, however, was the picture frame in the middle of her desk, which showed her and a blonde man making peace signs and smiling goofily at the camera. She smiled wistfully, and skirted her fingers over the glass, checking the door. On finding no one, she prepared her magic.

Beneath her feet, an orange spiral mark appeared, which housed images of many animals at different regions of the spiral, ranging from a racoon to an octopus/ox(oxtopus?) hybrid.

But the most prominent was the regal looking nine-tailed fox at the center of the spiral. If she didn't know any better, she would have assumed it to be a youkai. It was a testament to her husband's prowess with seals, that instead of letters, the magic in the spell was conveyed by images.

The Uzumaki clan crest.

HER clan crest, she thought with pride.

' _I'm coming home, and you better have food ready... Naruto-kun.'_ She thought before she vanished in an orange flash.


	2. 2

CH2

**Check out my other stories as well.**

**DISCLAIMER- I OWN NOTHING AT ALL.**

' _ITALICS'- THOUGHTS_

Naruto smiled as he delivered another bowl of piping hot ramen to his customers, a family of four, who were more or less his regulars. The Nobi family were a cheerful bunch; always smiling, joking and generally happy.

They were also one of the first customers to grace his shop when he relocated to Tokyo, after 'Mysteriously disappearing' from his earlier home in Kuoh.

He couldn't have people wondering how he still looked to be in his twenties, after decades of living there, now could he?

The Nobis were a joy to be around; The father, Takashi, was a pretty nice guy, and loved his family a lot, which made Naruto respect the man. His wife, Miya, was a lot like Naruto's own wife, as she loved to tease and mess with people in general. Of course, she didn't enjoy torturing people in her spare time like Akeno did, but it was a welcome change nonetheless.

Seated between them were the couple's two daughters. They were named Rei and Mei, and they were identical twins. They were absolutely adorable and loved ramen _almost_ as much as he himself did.

Breaking out of his thoughts, he greeted them. "Hi guys, how's it going? If ya need anything else, tell me okay?"

Miya smiled at him, while Takashi had already started stuffing his face with ramen, earning him a bonk on the head from his wife. "Thank you Naruto, we're all fine. But we'll probably have some sake, if you would?"

"Sure, I'll bring some over right away."

"Thank you." She nodded. "Girls, what do we say to Uncle Naruto?"

"Thanku Unca Naru!" two squeaky voices chirruped, which made Naruto pat their heads, earning him pleasant hums from the kids.

"It's no problem girls, just eat slowly, kay? It's not going anywhere ya know!" He said while chuckling, which made the twins glare at him, but they just looked like angry puppies.

This idle conversation went on till closing time, when the Nobis finally left. Naruto headed to the back to finish cleaning up so that he could go home and make dinner for himself and his wife.

His wife had gotten a job with the Gremory business, a name he couldn't remember. It was a far cry from when he met her while she was still in school, and fighting in deathmatches for entertainment.

Now, some may ask why she wasn't serving Rias, competing in rating games and so on. It was fairly simple, in reality. Since long term peace between the three factions was achieved, there was not as much of a need as before for devils to restore their numbers. This, along with various objections and outcries about the moral and ethical violations brought about by the Evil piece system, led to a massive overhaul in how peerages worked.

Ajuka Beelzebub, with the help of Azazel and Michael, came up with a new recruitment system in which free will was greatly emphasized and which could be used by members of any of the three factions, to better integrate themselves and further strengthen the peace. The [King] had to ask the potential member before performing the resurrection, and it had to be done in a free and fair manner. If the [King] did anything with a malicious intent, the [King] piece inside them would not permit the resurrection.

So any trickery, coercion or magic was out of the question, since the [King] piece was bound to the soul of the devil. As long as the devil knew what they were doing, the piece wouldn't reincarnate anyone. Also, those who were revived after death were given one week's time to leave the peerage without any consequences, while keeping the second life.

Devils were marked as strays only if they committed a crime against their [King] or against society in general. Simply leaving the peerage wasn't a crime anymore.

This new System was called the 'Inner Circle' System- She was therefore in Rias' Inner Circle, as [Queen].

The class system in the devil society also changed a lot. Many of the old elitist fossils on the council who still advocated purist supremacy were either killed in the war against the Khaos Brigade, or replaced by more progressive, competent heirs. Designations like High or Low class were more of a formality than any actual indication of ability or prestige.

There was noticeably less stigma attached to being low-class or reincarnated, and society as a whole was progressing. It was all to make sure another Riser incident or Nekoshou incident did not occur again.

After the war, she along with all those who played an important role in their victory were given promotions to high class. Hence she could now have her own peerage, while having a lesser responsibility towards Rias. Once the Inner Circle system became widespread, all existing pieces were converted to the newer system. Due to this, many of the devils who had been forcefully converted in one way or another left their 'Masters'(Now simply called [Kings]) and went their merry ways. This led to a stop in rating games until their numbers were restored.

Devils were no longer scouting for Circle members to 'Show off' , and so the system of rating games gradually became obsolete.

Eventually Rias had given her entire Circle a chance to forge their own paths from under her shadow, as she had wanted for herself for so long. And that's what she did.

Snapping out of his thoughts, Naruto closed up the shop and prepared to **Hiraishin** home. Who needed fancy magic circles and runes when you could just vanish?

As he flashed into his living room, he looked at his wedding photo on the wall, with him hugging Akeno while the both of them were smiling at the camera. His gaze softened as he remembered how they met.

* * *

**FLASHBACK, ROUGHLY 40 YEARS AGO, KUOH TOWN-**

Naruto glared at the person laying in a heap at his feet. Violet Rinnegan pulsed menacingly, with nine tomoe circling hypnotically in them. He had half a mind to just kill the little shit, but he needed to know. He needed to know why these Devils had been bothering him so much lately.

Don't get him wrong, he always had one or two supernaturals bugging him every week. Even though he wasn't actively involved in their affairs, his latent power and aura subconsciously attracted other supernaturals to him like moths to a flame. Be it Devils, or Fallen angels, or even some Yokai. Angels were by far the most preferable, as they had no ill intent towards him.

He even had that loli dragon approach him a time or two per month, to 'Join her in helping restore her silence.' He honestly did not understand why she could not just go somewhere else to sleep in the infinite abyss of the Gap. And he certainly wasn't going to help her kill Great Red! The guy was his friend, after all. The red dragon's delinquent personality was a refreshing change to the more snobby and arrogant supernaturals he knew.

The guy literally spent his time doing flips and stunts, so of course when Naruto came across him, he had declared that he was going to do better stunts than Red himself, and a rivalry had ensued. The both of them were buddies now.

He had met the two dragons when he showed up in the Dimensional Gap, battered and broken, after a mishap in sealing Kaguya. The two beings had taken an interest in him, as he had the same power levels as them. This was the sole reason why they hadn't just killed him when he was injured and defenceless.

When Naruto had finally settled down in Kuoh and opened his shop, these pests had started showing up. He mostly just beat them to a pulp and **Genjutsu'd** away the memories with his eyes, but he was getting fed up now. He wanted to find out what their endgame was, and put a stop to it, so he could live in peace.

Sighing in exasperation, he prepared to use one of the jutsu he really hated using. It was everything he had fought against, but in this case it was necessary. It helped that all he could sense from this Devil was evil and malice.

He placed his hand on the downed man's forehead, and spoke in a low voice-

**Ningendō**

Naruto stilled momentarily as a rush of memories came into his head from the man's mind, and he finally got his answer.

Khaos Brigade

Rizveim Livan Lucifer

Trihexa.

Rizevim Livan Lucifer was forming an organization, the main purpose of which was to invade the world using the Evil Dragons from other dimensions. For that goal, they sought to defeat Great Red who protected the Dimensional Gap by reviving the legendary beast, 666 (Trihexa).

Granted, they weren't anywhere close to executing such plans. It would take them years yet, but it was still troublesome. Naruto was lucky that this Devil was a member, or else he wondered how he would have gotten this information.

This was a really stupid plan according to him, as so many things could go wrong in it. He would have to inform Red that there were many different factions gunning for him. Seriously leave the poor guy alone will ya? Why does everyone want to either kill or banish him for Kami's sake? Let him do his stunts in peace dammit, he hasn't done anything to anyone!

Shaking his head, he created a **Kage Bunshin** to inform Red about these happenings, and the clone left for the Dimensional Gap via **Yomotsu Hirasaka.**

Normally, he would be done with it, and would have gone home after closing up the shop. However, this mook had made the mistake of trying to wreck the place, in hopes of 'Luring him out.' He had also insulted ramen. So naruto ripped the man's soul out of his head and crushed it into oblivion.

Sealing the corpse of the Devil into a scroll and burning it via **Amaterasu** , he left to go in and finish cleaning up. He would go home and rest up for tomorrow.

Just as he was about to go out and flip the sign, the bell attached to the door chimed, and in walked one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

She was a young woman with a voluptuous figure, very long black hair and violet eyes. Her hair was tied in a long ponytail, reaching all the way down to her legs with two strands sticking out from the top and sloping backward, with an orange ribbon keeping it in place.

Like most of the girls at Kuoh Academy, she wore the customary Kuoh Academy girls' school uniform, along with black calf-length socks.

Just as Naruto was about to snap out of his stupor and apologize for staring, she interrupted him,

"Excuse me, but are you open?" She said in a silky voice, almost like it was gliding over his ears. She was smiling angelically at him, but it didn't take him more than one look to discern that her smile was horribly fake, much like his own back when he was a child. It made his interest in her rise even more.

"Ah yes, I was just about to close, but I can make an exception for once, ya know?" He said, hoping that he didn't come across as a flirt. He just wanted to know more about this woman, not necessarily in a romantic sense.

There was _something_ about her, something that drew him to her. She was like her mystery, and that smile certainly had some secrets behind it. He also sensed two conflicting energies from her.

' _A Devil-Fallen hybrid, eh? I knew this girl was interesting.'_

The girl let out a demure giggle, and smiled even wider "Thank you, I was really hungry and this is the only place that was open. Could I have your name?"

"The name's Uzumaki Naruto, and don't you forget it, ya know!" Naruto replied, grinning. "And what about you, miss?"

"Ufufufu, my name is Himejima Akeno, it's nice to meet you Naruto-san."

"Likewise, Akeno-san, please have a seat. What can I get ya?" he asked, as the girl took a seat on one of the stools.

* * *

Akeno seemed to be deep in thought as she looked over the menu. Ultimately, she decided on Miso ramen, and Naruto went inside to prepare the food.

While she waited, she thought over the past few moments. The blonde looked to be about her age, and he had a cute, kind of feral look to him, with those whisker marks of his. His blue eyes were also the most unique pair of eyes she'd seen in quite some time. She idly wondered why he was working and not attending school, but felt like it wasn't her place to ask. One thing was for sure though, she had taken an interest in the blonde.

After about five minutes, Naruto came back with the order, and set it down in front of her. Akeno looked like she was about to drool any second from the delicious smell of the ramen. Slowly, she dug in and brought the first bite to her dainty lips.

As she ate the initial morsel, her eyes widened in surprise. She had never eaten such fabulous food before! Every ingredient was in perfect harmony, and no one taste overpowered any of the others. She was lost in her own world as she ate, and she didn't even remember finishing the whole bowl.

Looking up from her food-induced daze, the ravenette blushed slightly in embarrassment as she caught Naruto looking at her with amusement in her eyes. She had gotten too engrossed in her meal to worry about trivial things like eating speed or manners. Not one to give someone else the last laugh, she tried to embarrass him in retaliation for her own situation.

"Ara ara Naruto-san, you're looking at me so intensely!" she gasped, "What is a girl to think, are you interested in me?" she purred, batting her eyelashes. It had to work, she reasoned. Any normal man would have gotten the double entendre and started to blush or sputter in embarrassment. Any normal man, she thought, would be unable to resist her charms. How wrong she was.

"Huh?"

She blinked. Once. Twice. She looked at the chef, and the sheer clueless expression of his, accompanied by a cute head tilt, convinced her that he'd understood not a word of what she'd said. He was honestly confused, and she didn't know what to think when this man didn't swoon in her presence or stare at her like an idiot. Her mind offered up the elegant retort of-

"Uweh?"

Ah, the nerve of this man! He'd managed to not only embarrass her twice, but had done so without doing anything himself! This won't stand, she decided. She was the embarrasser, not the embarrassee! She would find some way to tease him, to make him blush, if it's the last thing she did.

She would come back, and she would keep coming back until she achieved her goal.

It was the only reason she would even come back to a place like this, she thought halfheartedly. Just to get one over the cute blonde, nothing else. Absolutely nothing to do with the cute blonde whatsoever.

It helped that the ramen was delicious, though.

**A/N- Review please.**

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews please.


End file.
